So let's get this out of the way right now: I do not REALLY hate my kids (who, as of this post are 4.5 yrs and 2 yrs). I just kinda hate them. Sometimes.
That's not something a mother is supposed to think, let alone say! What kind of mother am I?? Well, maybe I shouldn't have had them in the 1st place!! What's the number to CPS??
Look, most of us are parents. We all know what a joy and privilege it is to have been blessed with children. I have some very good friends who've struggled to conceive. And yet I will bet my next paycheck that we have all hated our kids at one time or another. Or more frequently than others, whatever the case may be ;)
The point is, it's OK to complain about our kids! At least it is here. This is my mother-effen blog and we are complaining and whining and saying all the awful things polite society won't let us say about those adorable bundles of joy. You will not be reading about how fabulous little Billy was in the school program or how proud I am of sweet Sally and her lemonade stand. What you will be reading is more along the lines of peas up the nose, poop on the carpet, epic tantrums in public and being THISCLOSE to selling one of the kids in the WalMart parking lot. (a fair trade would have sufficed at the time; like a coffee maker or half an eaten hot dog).
So please, sit back, relax. Lock your kids out in the backyard and enjoy 10 fucking minutes to yourself while you read, relate or just muse at the following rantings.
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