We've all heard that "Silence is Golden." Well I'm here to tell you it is not. Ask any parent and they will tell you that when the house falls quiet, a terrifying chill runs down their spine and sweat breaks out on their forehead. A parent will not enjoy the moment of peace because as their eyes widen they are thinking , "What are those little fuckers DOING?!"
The parent immediately drops what they are doing; the dishes, a phone call, nursing a small child and runs, yes, RUNS to the last place their children were seen "playing", which is no longer taking place. Silence.Is.Deadly.
What proverbial shit has hit the fan in the 4 minutes they were alone? Sometimes the shit isn't proverbial but literal. Literally smeared all over their pink tiny bodies and rubbed into crevices you will never be able to reach. Did they get into your makeup drawer in the bathroom even though there is a "childproof" cover on the doorknob (that the kids can easily manipulate but you can never work the damn thing) and squirt your liquid blush all over the carpet? Did they somehow get a hold of a pen and draw all over the couch even though you are a Pen Nazi and there are NO PENS WITHIN A CHILDS REACH IN THE ENTIRE HOUSE! Perhaps they are going through the DVD drawer and have taken out approximately 27 DVD's and are playing frisbee with them or using them to glide across the carpet?
And all of this happend not while you were trying to sneak a quite moment to yourself (haha, that's so cute of you to think that's even possible!) but while you were filling the kitchen sink to do the flippin dishes. A house with children should not be a quiet one. If it is, you need to check your fan; because I think the shit just hit it.
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